Operation: BABY
by Numbuh88
Summary: A mishap with a new machine has brought a baby to Sector V, a baby that looks vaguely familiar... A 3/4 story with a little 2/5 thrown in.


CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR

A fanfic by Numbuh 88

(Based on characters created by Tom Warburton)

NOW LOADING...

KIDS NEXT DOOR MISSION

OPERATION

B.A.B.Y.

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><p>Bewilderment<p>

Afflicts

Beneficial

Youngsters

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><p>Cast:<p>

Numbuh 1 (Nigel Uno)

Numbuh 2 (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr.)

Numbuh 3 (Kuki Sanban)

Numbuh 4 (Wallabee "Wally" Beatles)

Numbuh 5 (Abigail "Abby" Lincoln)

Lizzie Devine

Professor Triple-Extra Large (XXXL)

(I would list the rest, but that would spoil the story.)

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><p><strong>EXTERIOR: KND TREE-HOUSE- DUSK<strong>

**INTERIOR: MAIN LIVING HALL**

(Numbuh 1 is on the middle couch reading a comic book, accompanied by the loud noises of welding and hammering coming from another room. Numbuh 5 enters, covering her ears and carrying envelopes in her hand. The noises suddenly cease.)

**NUMBUH 5:** Sheesh! Numbuh 2's gonna wreck the hanger if he keeps up with that! What's he workin' on anyway?

**NUMBUH 1:** *Ugh* For the eleventy-billionth time, he won't tell me!

**NUMBUH 5:** Okay, okay! Numbuh 5's just worried that Numbuh 2's gonna hurt himself if he's not careful! (_Blushes_) Uh... I mean, that he might bring down the whole tree-house.

**NUMBUH 1:** Yes, I know. All he says is that it'll change the KND forever! Of course, that's what he said about his Melt-O-Cycle. Is that the mail you've got?

**NUMBUH 5:** Oh, yeah! We got the new issue of _KND Weekly_, a Kids Next Door account statement, says we're spending more on candy then recommended... Ooh! A postcard from Numbuh 30 in Indonesia! (_Reads_) He says his team has finally captured the Common Cold before he could get those exotic flu germs we heard about!

**NUMBUH 1:** All right! Anything else?

**NUMBUH 5:** Yeah, a reminder from Lizzie about your date tomorrow, says she'll break both your legs if you forget.

(Numbuh 3's playful scream is heard, startling both Numbuhs 1 and 5. Numbuh 3 then rushes into the room, and stops at the doorway.)

**NUMBUH 3(_Yelling into hallway_):** C'mon, Numbuh 4! You look gorgeous!

(Numbuh 4's angry snarling is heard as Numbuh 3 resumes running and giggling, and then Numbuh 4 enters the room, his face covered with makeup.)

**NUMBUH 4:** That's the last time I take a nap while Numbuh 3's awake!

(Numbuh 4 chases Numbuh 3 to the couch where Numbuh 1 is sitting, they both circle it until Numbuh 3 stops at one end and Numbuh 4 stops at the other.)

**NUMBUH 4:** *Pant, pant* I don't know why I put up with you, Numbuh 3!

**NUMBUH 3:** What do you mean?

**NUMBUH 4:** Every cruddy day I have endure your girly-girl antics and the sight of your stupid Rainbow Monkeys! I just don't know why I don't just pack up and transfer to another sector!

**NUMBUH 3:** I think we both know why!

**NUMBUH 4:** Maybe you do, but I sure don't! I don't know how much more of this I can take! I feel like I'm about to explode!

(Suddenly, an explosion is heard coming from the hangar, and Numbuh 2 enters the room, covered with grime.)

**NUMBUH 2:** It works!

**INTERIOR: HANGAR**

(Numbuhs 1-5 are standing in front of a large complex machine that looks like an oversized microscope. Numbuh 4 is wiping the makeup off of his face.)

**NUMBUH 1:** It works? Then what was that explosion we just heard?

**NUMBUH 2:** That was the sound of an object from the future coming into our time!

**NUMBUH 5:** An object from the future?

**NUMBUH 2:** Yes, indeed! (_Takes out a small, flat object_) Voila!

(Numbuh 3 takes the object, and Numbuh 4 looks over.)

**NUMBUH 3:** What is this thing?

**NUMBUH 1:** It looks like some sort of electronic pad.

(Numbuh 1 presses a button and a holographic projection appears out of nowhere, showing images and letters. Numbuhs 1, 3, 4 and 5 look in amazement.)

**NUMBUH 1:** Wow! This really is from the future! How does your device work?

**NUMBUH 2:** Well, it comes from design specs that I managed to steal from the Delightful Children. It's kinda complicated, but I'll demonstrate by bringing back another object!

(Hoagie rushes to a control panel and presses several buttons, and a green glow begins to form over a small platform on the floor under the machine's lenses. Suddenly, a blast of green light appears, followed by a loud explosion, creating a mist which covers the platform.)

**NUMBUH 1:** Can you tell what it is you're bringing back?

**NUMBUH 2(_Approaching the platform_):** Well, I haven't gotten that far yet, but I doubt if this next item should cause us any trouble.

(Suddenly, the sound of a baby's cries is heard.)

**NUMBUH 5:** Wha... What's that?

**NUMBUH 2:** Oh, man. I've really done it this time.

(Numbuh 2 picks up and shows a baby girl, wearing pink footie pajamas and black hair with a small ponytail. She has an Asian complexion and a stubby nose. Numbuhs 1, 4, and 5 look in amazement, while Numbuh 3 is overjoyed. The baby starts to cry again.)

**NUMBUH 1:** You brought back a baby?

**NUMBUH 2(_Still holding baby_):** Hey, I didn't think my machine would do this! (_Hands baby to Nigel_) Here, hold her for a sec! I'm gonna see if I can send her back!

(Numbuh 2 rushes back to his machine, while Numbuh 1 extends his arms, holding the crying baby away from his face.)

**NUMBUH 1(_To Hoagie_):** You mean you don't know if it'll send things back?

**NUMBUH 3:** Here! Give her to me!

(Numbuh 1 hands Numbuh 3 the baby and she stops crying and smiles. Numbuh 4 approaches in bewilderment.)

**NUMBUH 4:** She... She likes you?

**NUMBUH 3:** She sure does! (_To baby_) Who's a silly baby?

(The baby giggles as Numbuhs 1 and 5 step closer.)

**NUMBUH 2:** Well, the good news is that my machine CAN send the baby back where she came from, but I need to know the exact time and place.

**NUMBUH 1:** How can you not know the time and place? Doesn't your machine tell you?

**NUMBUH 2:** Well... no. I haven't yet installed this chronometer in the control panel. (_He takes a small digital watch out of his pocket_.) But in a couple of days I'll have it installed and then we'll know.

**NUMBUH 4:** What? You mean we're stuck with a cruddy baby for a couple of days? However long that is...

**NUMBUH 3:** Numbuh 4! Be nice! See? She likes you too.

(Kuki hands Wally the baby, who is reaching out to him. He cradles her, and he smiles.)

**NUMBUH 5:** Aaww... Don't you two look adorable!

**NUMBUH 4:** What? Well, don't get used to it!

(Numbuh 3 shushes Numbuh 4, who looks at the baby, who is asleep. Wally carefully hands Kuki the baby.)

**NUMBUH 3(_Quietly_):** Looks like its bedtime.

**NUMBUH 1(_Looks at his watch_):** Yes, it is getting kind of late. Seeing as how we have no alternative, we'll look after this baby until the machine is ready.

**NUMBUH 3(_Quietly_):** Goody! I'll keep her in my room!

**NUMBUH 2:** But what about baby supplies?

**NUMBUH 5:** Don't worry. I got a stash of that in case of an emergency.

(The kids leave the hangar, and we see the electronic pad on a table, which extends six bug-like legs and follows the kids.)

(The next day...)

**EXTERIOR: KND TREE-HOUSE- MORNING**

**INTERIOR- KITCHEN**

(Numbuh 1 enters the Kitchen, where Numbuhs 2, 4 and 5 are sitting at the table and eating cereal, and Numbuh 3 is feeding the baby girl, who is sitting in a jury-rigged high-chair.)

**NUMBUH 3:** Aaw... Who's a good baby? Is it you?

(Numbuh 4 covers his ears in frustration.)

**NUMBUH 2(_To Wally_):** What's your problem?

**NUMBUH 4:** I know the baby likes me and all, but I don't use that cruddy baby-talk!

**NUMBUH 5:** What? Not even to your baby brother?

**NUMBUH 4:** No! I leave that to my mum!

**NUMBUH 1(_Pouring cereal_):** Well, don't _you_ worry, Numbuh 4. The sooner we can send the baby back to her parents the better!

**NUMBUH 3:** But even if we do, how do we know we're sending her back to her parents? What if we're now all she's got?

**NUMBUH 1(_Sits at table with cereal_):** *Sigh* I know there's that possibility, Numbuh 3, but we may have to take that chance. How can _we_ possibly raise a baby? You remember what happened last time!

**NUMBUH 4:** Hey! _You_ were the one who "rescued" them from that hospital!

**NUMBUH 5:** Numbuh 5 can see where you're comin' from, Numbuh 1. (_Gets up from chair_) But we have us here a rare moment and we might as well enjoy it while it lasts!

**NUMBUH 2:** Yeah! Well, I'd better get to work on the machine.

(Numbuh 2 gets up and leaves the kitchen.)

**NUMBUH 5(_Yelling after Hoagie_):** Don't work too quick, baby!

(A little later...)

**INTERIOR: MAIN LIVING-HALL**

(Numbuh 3 is changing the baby's diaper on the coffee table while Numbuh 4 looks on. Numbuh 1 is pacing up and down the room, looking irritated.)

**NUMBUH 4(_To Kuki_):** I guess I know what the baby sees in you, Numbuh 3, seeing as how you just love cute things, but I don't understand why she likes me!

**NUMBUH 3(_Finishing with diaper_):** Oh, maybe deep down you really like cute things too!

**NUMBUH 4: **Whoa! That can't be right! Sure, I got taken in by Valerie's teacup poodle _once_, but that doesn't mean... (_Wally starts to get annoyed by Numbuh_ 1's_ pacing and turns to him_) What's your problem, Numbuh 1?

**NUMBUH 1:** All this baby malarkey has gotten me confused. I know there was something important happening today, but I can't remember what!

**NUMBUH 3_(Cradling baby_):** Oh, c'mon! It couldn't have been more important than looking after...

**LIZZIE'S VOICE:** NIIIGELLLL!

**NUMBUH 1:** *Ugh* Now I remember!

(Lizzie enters the room.)

**LIZZIE:** There you are, Nigel! Don't tell me you forgot again!

**NUMBUH 1:** Uh... Lizzie, I can explain!

(Lizzie suddenly notices the baby in Numbuh 3's arms and starts squealing.)

**LIZZIE:** AAAAH! Such a cute baby!

(Lizzie runs over and picks up the baby from Numbuh 3's arms, and the baby starts to whimper, then cry.)

**NUMBUH 3:** Careful! You don't just grab her like that!

(Lizzie sheepishly hands the baby back to Kuki.)

**LIZZIE:** Sorry, guess I got a little too enthusiastic.

**NUMBUH 4:** You guess?

(Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 2 enter the room.)

**NUMBUH 5:** What's all the noise? Oh, hey, Lizzie.

**NUMBUH 1:** Look, Lizzie, I do want to go out with you, but we've kind of got a situation here.

**LIZZIE:** Don't give me excuses, Nigel! I had enough trouble getting here in the first place!

**NUMBUH 3:** What are you talking about?

**LIZZIE:** On the way here I ran into that jerk who wouldn't share his snow cone with me!

**NUMBUH 1:** Snow cone? Uh-oh...

(Suddenly, a tower with a single eye peers through the window, the eye opens and Professor Triple-Extra-Large jumps out. Once again he has octopus tentacles instead of legs, and is wielding a freeze gun connected to a pack on his back. The Kids Next Door and Lizzie gather together, with Numbuh 3 clutching the baby.)

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Sorry to show up so abruptly, but I, PROFESSOR TRIPLE-EXTRA-LARGE, am here to get my machine back!

**NUMBUH 2:** _Your_ machine? I got the schematics from the Delightful Children From Down The Lane!

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Yes! Schematics that_ I _planned to steal myself! But you got to them before me!

**NUMBUH 1:** What would _you_ want with a machine that brings things from the future?

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** With that kind of machine, I could get data on snow-cones from the future, and use it to create the PERFECT snow-cone!

**NUMBUH 2:** Why didn't you try to get it yesterday?

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Well, it was late and I was tired!

**NUMBUH 3:** You can't take the machine! We need it to send the baby back where she came from!

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** A baby? From the future? What possible potential could that have?

**NUMBUH 5:** Hey, it was an accident!

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** No matter! I must have that machine!

**NUMBUH 1:** We're not giving it up!

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Very well, then! You asked for this!

(Professor XXXL fires his freeze gun at the floor in front of where the kids are standing, creating a layer of ice.)

**NUMBUH 1:** Quick! To the hangar!

(The Kids Next Door and Lizzie run into the hangar where the machine is, with Numbuh 3 carrying the baby. Numbuh 2 locks the door down, but it suddenly becomes covered in ice and breaks down, and Professor XXXL enters.)

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** I'm going to give you all the worst case of brain-freeze you ever had, and then I'll be taking that machine!

**LIZZIE(_Grabbing Nigel_):** Hold me, Nigey!

(Suddenly, the machine suddenly comes to life, forming a green portal out of nothing. Out of the portal step two adults, an Asian woman with medium-length black hair and wearing a dark green ladies' business suit, and a man with short blond hair, wearing khaki slacks and a white polo shirt. They are Numbuhs 3 and 4 as adults. The Kids Next Door, Lizzie and Professor XXXL all look in astonishment.)

**ADULT NUMBUH 3(_To baby_):** There you are!

(The baby, still in Numbuh 3's arms, smiles and reaches for the adults. Numbuh 3 then hands the baby to her adult self, who cradles her lovingly as adult Numbuh 4 approaches and puts his hand on adult Kuki's shoulder.)

**NUMBUH 4:** You're her parents? Who are you?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** We're you and Kuki, about eighteen years from now!

**NUMBUH 4(_Stunned_):** Wha... you mean...

**NUMBUH 3:** We were her parents the whole time?

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** Exactly! Little Mikki here instinctually knew you were, or would be, her parents. So we knew she would want Kuki and Wally in this time.

**NUMBUH 1:** Wait, wait, wait! Two questions: One, how did you know where she wound up, and two, how did you two get here?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Well, we knew that she came here, because of the first item you took, namely, my electronic notebook!

(The electronic pad drops from the ceiling, falls into Numbuh 2's hands and retracts its legs.)

**NUMBUH 2:** You mean, this is yours?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Yes! (_Takes pad_) I had it modified with legs and a video-recording mode. When you brought it into this time, I had left it on video-recording mode, which, when it was turned on, showed us where Mikki was taken on a screen in our time.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** Before Wally and I left to come into this time, we decided to wait and see how well our younger selves could care for her.

**NUMBUH 5:** That still leaves the question of how you two got here.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** We were coming to that! Anyway, Hoagie from our time was able to link an experimental time portal to the residual chroniton trail left by this machine, which sent us into this time. We knew we had to intervene when Professor Triple-Extra-Large showed up.

(Professor XXXL nervously tugs his collar.)

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Yeah, Hoagie may be having vision troubles now, but he can still work wonders! In fact, he's still in demand with the Kids Next Door!

**NUMBUH 1:** But... how did you know that you were once Kids Next Door? Weren't you two decommissioned when you turned 13?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Well, not exactly. You see, years after you left Earth, Hoagie, Abby, Kuki and I were able to keep our KND commissions even after we turned 13.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** Yeah, the KND in our time knows full well that they need adult allies, and what better ones than adults who were in the Kids Next Door? The best part is, we have Numbuh 30 to thank for that.

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Yep! We're not even a secret anymore!

**NUMBUH 1:** Well, I suppose that makes... Wait a minute! What do you mean, I left Earth? !

**LIZZIE(_Shoves Nigel aside_):** And did Nigey and I get married and have a lotta kids? Huh? Huh? Did we?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Uh... (_To adult Kuki_) I think it may be time to use it.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** You're right.

**NUMBUH 1:** Use what?

(While holding the baby with one arm, adult Numbuh 3 reaches into her pocket and takes out a small cylinder, points it at the kids and the professor and activates it, causing it to produce strange lights and a warbling noise. The Kids Next Door, Lizzie and Professor XXXL stare into it, hypnotized. She then turns it off, leaving them standing and staring blankly into space.)

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** We'd better go now before they wake up.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** What about the machine?

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Don't worry. Hoagie said that once the portal closes the feedback will short-circuit the machine. It'll make it look like it never worked.

**ADULT NUMBUH 3:** Okay. (_As they turn to the portal, Kuki talks to the baby_) Come on, Mikki, let's go home.

**ADULT NUMBUH 4:** Yeah, we got Hoagie and Abby coming to dinner, and they're bringing their son over...

(Adult Wally's voice fades as he, adult Kuki and the baby fade into the portal. When the portal closes, the machine suddenly starts to spark. Numbuhs 1-5, Lizzie and Professor XXXL wake from their trance, only to see the machine fizzle and fall apart.)

**NUMBUH 2:** Aw, man! It doesn't work!

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Nooo! It's useless! (_Suddenly notices that he's not in his lab_) Hey, where am I?

(Professor XXXL suddenly notices the Kids Next Door and Lizzie in the hangar with him, all of them eying him quizzically.)

**PROFESSOR XXXL:** Uh... Goodbye! (_He hastily rushes out, exasperating_.)

**LIZZIE:** Well, Nigey, if we're done witnessing another one of your team's failures, it's time we went on our date!

**NUMBUH 1(_Being pulled out of the room by Lizzie_):** Uh, what ever it is you're doing, team, carry on!

**NUMBUH 2:** Yeah, I'd better clean up this hunk of junk.

**NUMBUH 5:** I'll help. Maybe we could recycle all this into something useful.

**NUMBUH 2:** Yeah, maybe something like a gatling gun that shoots flaming lima beans!

(While Numbuhs 2 and 5 get to work, Numbuh 3 approaches Numbuh 4.)

**NUMBUH 3:** So, while they're busy, you wanna share my new eyeliner?

(Kuki takes out a bottle of eyeliner and leans toward Wally.)

**NUMBUH 4:** Aaaagh! Keep that crud away from me!

(Numbuh 4 runs from Numbuh 3, who chases him, giggling.)

**NUMBUH 2:** Man, I just don't see how he puts up with her.

**NUMBUH 5:** Ah, they'll come around. Just you wait.

**NUMBUH 2:** Maybe you're... *sniff* Hey, do you smell baby powder?

END TRANSMISSION


End file.
